Ad hoc

Once upon a time I wanted to work in advertising.  I thought it was a way to get paid to think of puns.  This theory was shattered during a work experience stint at a flash London agency which largely entailed reuniting hundreds of video cassettes with their cardboard cases (except for the day I spent touring toy shops trying to find plastic tiger claws for a Frostie’s product launch - the equivalent of a sending an idiot apprentice out to fetch some tartan paint).

That wasn’t what put me off advertising, though.  What did it was someone explaining to me that the majority of people in an agency are battling to reconcile two opposing forces - the client and the creative team.

Take a commercial for ketchup.  The client wants a 30 second shot of the sauce slowly leaving a prominently logoed bottle and landing deliciously on a salad or one of the other healthy foodstuffs people generally put ketchup on.  The creative team don’t give a toss about sales of ketchup but do want to impress their mates and win awards, so suggest something surreal and nonsensical - a gorilla playing the drums, say - and promise that it will set Twitter ablaze.  Everyone else then has to find a way of combining art and commerce in a way that won’t get them fired.

This interplay has been playing on my mind recently because I’ve become completely obsessed with this omni-present tube advert for Cheltenham racecourse:


It has to be assumed that the client took the driving seat for this one.  Imagine the creative meeting.

Agency ponce: "OK, we’ve brought some samples of the tube ad and we think you’re gonna be rilly excited, guys - the creatives have really thought their berets off on this one.  We’re seeing a clean white background, big central image of a beautiful black racehorse - but what’s this?  That’s right - it’s got human hands holding banknotes instead of hooves!  And it’s wearing a fez and smoking a pipe!  I know, eye-catching or what?"

Client: "That’s very nice, Julian, but could you do something a bit more, I don't know, wife-beater-y?  Just off the top of my head, I’m seeing a florid complexion and a screech of self-loathing as the children’s trust fund gets blown on an 11-1 long shot.  Boozy simple-minded aggression.  This ad needs to be like looking in the mirror for every overpaid city worker with anger-management issues.  Are your guys up to the job?"

Agency ponce: "Hmmm.  Marcel is very attached to Tote the Gambling Stallion but I’m sure he’ll come up with something.  Just to clarify - you want an image that will put all right-minded people off ever visiting any racecourse ever again?"

Client: "Exactly."