Exciting times ahead. I've applied for membership of the bafflingly age-restrictive 20 Something Blogger network. I won't deny that my motivation is partially to enrage Webby, who having recently hit 30 is now too ancient and revolting to apply. Apparently, if he visits the site his screen will fill with live feeds to dozens of gorgeous 21 year olds retching and saying "No way, Grandad!" in an exotic variety of languages.
But aside from that, this could be my ticket to an Indian summer in my dying months as a 20 something. I want to lol and rofl and lmao with people who arrange parties in squats through MySpace and take meow meow and put pictures of their bums on Twitter. I'll befriend these dangerous, beautiful youths by never seeming to have the time to type the words "to" or "you" and raving about cutting edge (and entirely fictitious) bands. Hey fella, u clocked the Fridge Handbags yet? They're like totally spudrocking.
Then this blog will become an enormous youth culture online sensation. I'll be like Belle de Jour but without needing to have it off with strangers in hotels for cash. I'll quit the day job and throw myself into the London celebrity scene, guided by my friends from 20 Something Bloggers on what to wear, where to wear it and what slang to say when I get there. I'll get a job with Channel 4 introducing episodes of Friends on Sunday mornings and appear in a Lady Gaga video dressed like a sexy robot lobster.
Then, on 23 May 2011, I'll be expelled from paradise. My 20 Something friends will turn their backs, disgusted by my decrepitude. Peaches Geldof will stop returning my tweets and I'll be replaced on Channel 4 by a talking cartoon syringe. My girlfriend will have left me and I'll die of bitterness and regret by Christmas.
On reflection, maybe I shouldn't mix with the youth of the internet. My membership status is pending, which must mean someone from the network will along soon to make sure I'm not an undercover OAP. 20 Something Blogger representative, I implore you - turn me down. I'm not one of your kind.
2 comments:
More likely it means that all of us happen to be busy at the moment. There are only several people in our admin team approving the memberships and I'm one of them.
And we don't kick people out, we never do if they've been a member before they hit 30. Age restriction isn't definite, and the purpose is to get people in the same range of age share their mind. We have 30-Something bloggers as well.
Thanks Andhari - no slur on your speed of response intended. Delighted that the gates to eternal youth will remain open to me indefinitely (but never open for Webby).
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